and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
