He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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