I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I didn't notice because vodka
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
