So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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