Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
