considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
