I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
