fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
