Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
