I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
