"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
