You work out of a Hotel?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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