I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
