apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I am naked and annoyed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
