Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
