so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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