I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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