garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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