I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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