Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
