All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
