i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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