I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
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