ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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