Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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