Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize
