Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize