don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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