Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
