brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
