She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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