Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
