I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
