Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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