My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
