how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
