Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want to make out with him forever
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
