I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
