my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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