Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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