fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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