How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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