Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
