omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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