I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This baby is an asshole
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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