I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
