some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
