go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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