At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
In America we eat man semen.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
