that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
