she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
