How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How naked do you want me to be?
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